A2. Choose Options:

Redefine the narrative

When we consider a choice with predetermined options, we accept a fixed narrative by definition. The power of choice is strong, but the power of narrative is stronger. This reality of a limited narrative creates social conditioning and a coherent culture in society. Similarly, individuals create boundary conditions when presenting these prefixed options to us, knowingly or not. Stepping back from what’s presented to us can bring many new options into view—potentially much more favorable ones.
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The world is complex, life is a struggle, and knowing what we want might be the most challenging question of them all. So, when we can reduce abstraction from “how to best govern society” to “which of these old white men do we disagree with the least,” we’re often quite happy. With the constant pressure of more questions to take a stand on, we’re often out in the dark, happy for anyone to shine a light on a few well-defined alternatives. While intuitively, we feel there must be better options out there, we’re secretly glad we don’t need to look for them.

This state of mind is all very reasonable. Reducing complexity is a necessity today. And challenging current views and structures in society can be a daunting task. Still, if we never see the complete picture of possible options, not only are we missing out on much potential, we’re letting current stakeholders dictate what to consider. And what not to.

Consider our largely democratic world, where the twenty-six wealthiest people own as much as the poorest 50 percent in the world*. Still, virtually no major political party has even come close to challenging this dynamic. The media keeps busy presenting vague options of lower taxes and immigrants versus more taxes and public spending. Finding a global consensus on wealth tax could help eradicate global poverty, but it is deemed too complicated to pursue. Cut to this week’s soccer game, where 211 countries have agreed on the same set of intricate rules to compete for the world cup. Keep watching the game.

Just as choosing our choices wisely, we should consider our options carefully. For society, this is what constitutes democracy. Without proactively challenging our options for leadership and values at hand, we risk stagnation and built-up tensions within the system that may prompt violent revolutions in the void of progressive evolution.

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We hold back on many desires as what we would be asking from others or ourselves would be out of the question. What if we put them back into question? For a society to function coherently, individuals need to hold back on particular preferences and stand in line rather than charge ahead. However, before limiting our life, we should test our assumptions about what should be out of the question and what should not.

Often, if communicated with integrity, we may find that things we assumed would be met with skepticism may even be a shared preference with others. If we desire increased freedom in our relationship, a promotion, or an opportunity to live closer to where we work, what if we simply communicate this openly? We might realize that our partner was looking for the same, our boss has been waiting for someone to take on more responsibility, and our family jumps at the chance to move closer to the city. At the very least, we communicate openly who we are and what we want others to see transparently.

For the clear cases where we rightly assume that our preferred choice will impose a perceived cost for someone else, well, everyone has a price. We could measure that price in money, time, or what preference may be at stake. Moving closer to work may not be ideal for all in the family, but if we’re given an hour extra per day to help out with homework instead of commuting, it may well compensate. In either case, if we do not ask how others perceive this cost and benefit, we’ll never know.

In the case where we’re set to leave our relationship/work/apartment regardless, we have nothing to lose and could instead ask ourselves, what would it take to make us stay? More salary, autonomy, challenging tasks, responsibility, or a new team? Boldly stating that we would need a 50 percent pay increase and managerial responsibility puts the choice back to our employer. We communicate clearly what we can provide and what we believe this to be worth. It may turn out the employer has been hoping to fill a managerial gap and find it tremendously valuable to see us stepping forward. If not, we know the job is not for us but have clarity in what to look for in our next challenge.

In the process of testing our assumptions, our future choices will be more informed, while others will transparently see our preferences and be able to relate to us genuinely. How can we form genuine and understanding relationships if we never dare to speak our minds about our beliefs and preferences? Honest transparency about our preferred options forces us to fundamentally rethink our priorities and answer that most demanding question out there. What is it that we want?

SYNTHESIS:

• - Identify when faced with different options that these are limited to what someone else has chosen for you.
• - Review what other options are possible outside of the selected ones to expand optionality.
• - If options are presented that are not preferred, quantify what would be needed tomake you choose that option.